Resources

Waking Up

By Sam Harris

Sam Harris is a neurobiologist and an adept meditator whose book is required reading for those who identify as “rational materialists” and may therefore be resistant to connecting with their spirituality. This book gave me permission to be spiritual in an authentic way without needing the trappings of religion or new age woo. Sam explores many topics, including meditation, spirituality, ethics, gurus, psychedelics, and consciousness, with unparalleled clarity, depth, and rationality.

The Untethered Soul

By Michael Singer

I’ve given this book more than any other. It is the book I read on my first trip to Peru. The Untethered Soul: The Journey Beyond Yourself by Michael Singer is written in plain language, using simple examples and metaphors to make spirituality as clear as possible for the reader. Powerful and clear explanations of how the mind works and how to watch it. You are not your self-concept (the structure of thoughts, emotions, and beliefs of yourself in your mind). You are the awareness that hears the thought and sees a woman’s body in the mirror…

The Deepest Acceptance

By Jeff Foster

I’ve read this book several times. Each time I am reminded of Jeff Foster’s very nuanced yet clear message: “Don’t try to change or escape your present experience, just accept what is here.” Experience is the keyword here. The author was always trying to maintain and control his life. He had a breakdown and wound up in the hospital. This depression was a giant invitation to awaken, to go from “depressed” to “deep rest”. The entire universe is exactly as it should be. Discover how ‘even this is allowed.’ Discover how every moment is perfect. The end of suffering: 1) Admit the truth, 2) Allow it in, 3) Notice it as acceptable.

The Book: On the Taboo of Knowing Who You Really Are

By Alan Watts

In this fun and interesting read, the message is one of connectivity, and not just with our fellow women and men, but with all of creation. In this book, you will discover a glimpse into the ancient wisdom of the Vedanta; what language can tell us about people’s perceptions; and why the inevitability of death needn’t be a cause for concern. Line after line of profound prose.

The Four Agreements

By Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements was published in 1997. It remained a best seller in the New York Times for eight years and sold over 7.2 million copies. It is based on ancient Toltec Wisdom and is a great self-improvement and awareness book. If you get the four agreements outlined in the book, you will be just fine: 1) Be Impeccable with Your Word, 2) Don’t take anything personally, 3) Don’t make assumptions, 4) Always do your best. What a handbook for life!

Guide to Getting it On

By Paul Joannides

I read the first printing of this book in 1996 when I had just graduated from undergrad. I have kept it all these years because it was invaluable for learning about sex in a gentle, funny, and highly informative way. This book is a masterpiece and is now in its 10th edition. After recently recommending it to a client, I decided to reread it myself. Amazing! Any question you have about sex (note, it is targeted to heterosexual relationships) and any question you never knew you had about sex is answered completely. I consider this book required reading. A manual for one of the most enjoyable parts of life!

Transcending the Levels of Consciousness

By David Hawkins

Wow! This book filled so many holes in my understanding. Hawkins presents a wonderful model to understand where people and societies are in terms of “levels of consciousness.” The book explores the ego’s expressions and inherent limitations, and provides detailed explanations and instructions for transcending them. This leads to progressive spiritual awareness and on to higher levels of consciousness, providing specific steps for transcending each level, from preparatory to advanced states such as enlightenment itself.

The Case Against Reality

By Donald Hoffman

After working in expanded states, the thesis of this book may seem obvious and consistent with a lot of what eastern spirituality (is that even a thing?) has been teaching for millennia. Hoffman puts much of this spiritual understanding into a scientific and presumably testable framework. The theory argues that consciousness creates neural activity, and humans have evolved to see what is needed for survival: perceptions are a user interface, but not necessarily reality. Really cool!

The Way of The Superior Man

By David Deida

This should be required reading for every man. What a shame that the true and ancient ways of masculinity and femininity have been tainted in the modern age. David Deida has a handbook for reconnecting to these energies. On giving and recommending this book, I’ve learned it is somewhat of a litmus test. I’ve noticed that the most joyful, loving, and open-hearted men whom I’ve recommended this book to love it. Those men that just “don’t get it”, seem to be struggling more. That is OK… It just means we have some more work to do! “Stop waiting. Feel everything. Love achingly. Give impeccably. Let go. “The creative challenge is to tussle, play, and make love with the present moment while giving your unique gift”

Our Mathematical Universe

By Max Tegmark

This is a mind bender. If you already know the universe is big, get ready to learn that it is bigger. Also, did you know there may be many kinds and levels of multiple realities? Tegmark tackles big concepts in an easy to comprehend manner. Honestly, I was a little overwhelmed by the implications of this book. By the way, intuitively, I feel the framework of the multiple levels of the multiverse, as laid out by Max Tegmark in this book, is not inconsistent with the observations of many of the great spiritual teachers. The universe is an amazing gift!

The Wisdom of Insecurity: A Message for an Age of Anxiety

By Alan Watts

Alan Watts was writing about the anxious, grasping quality of the modern mind decades ago, and this book is more relevant now than ever. The central insight is deceptively simple: the harder we chase security, certainty, and control, the more we suffer. Watts invites us to stop fighting the present moment and start living inside of it. This is not a passive resignation; it is an active, alive surrender. In expanded states work, I see this pattern again and again: the moment a person stops trying to control the experience is often the moment something profound opens up. Watts gives that wisdom a clear and beautiful framework. A slim book that will change how you see everything.

The Doors of Perception and Heaven and Hell

By Aldous Huxley

This slim classic changed the way I think about consciousness, perception, and the boundaries of ordinary experience. Huxley’s account of his mescaline experiment is not just a trip report. It is a precise and literary inquiry into what it means to see reality without the usual filters the mind imposes. What struck me most was his framing: the brain as a reducing valve, narrowing infinite experience down to what is useful for survival. In expanded states work, I see this idea play out constantly. The walls come down, and what remains is more vivid, more connected, more real. A short book, but one that opens a very large door.

The Female Brain

By Louann Brizendine, M.D.

I recommend this book constantly to clients who are working through dynamics in their relationships. Brizendine breaks down the neuroscience of the female brain: how hormones shape mood, bonding, stress responses, and communication at every stage of life. What I find most useful is that it makes the invisible visible. When I understand why a woman’s nervous system is wired the way it is, I can meet her where she actually is, not where I assume she should be. Essential reading for anyone trying to deepen their understanding of the women in their lives.

The Male Brain

By Louann Brizendine, M.D.

I read this right after The Female Brain, and together they changed how I understand the people I work with. Brizendine uses the same neuroscience lens to map the male brain, showing how testosterone, vasopressin, and the brain’s structure shape everything from risk-taking and competition to love, loyalty, and grief. What hit me most is how clearly she shows that the male brain isn’t emotionally unavailable; it’s wired differently. Men feel deeply. They just process and express it through different neural pathways. This book helped me meet male clients with more precision and compassion.

From the Core

By John Wineland

John Wineland is one of the clearest voices on masculine embodiment I’ve encountered. This book cuts through the noise around masculinity and gets to something real: what it means to lead from depth rather than reactivity, to be fully present in your body, and to hold space for others from a place of genuine strength. I use concepts from this book regularly in my work with men. It’s practical, grounded, and challenging in exactly the right way.

Psychomagic

By Alejandro Jodorowsky

Jodorowsky is a poet, filmmaker, and healer who approaches psychic wounds the way a surrealist approaches a canvas, with total commitment to the symbolic and the visceral. Psychomagic is his theory and practice of healing through performed acts: symbolic, often bizarre, always precise. It’s unlike anything else in this list. I recommend it to clients who are drawn to the poetic and mythic dimensions of their own healing. It won’t make sense to everyone, but for the right person, it will feel like a direct transmission.

Nature, Man and Woman

By Alan Watts

I’m obviously a big fan of Watts. He was decades ahead of his time here. He takes the false separation between human beings and the natural world, and between the masculine and feminine principles, and dissolves it with his characteristic ease. What struck me most is his treatment of the erotic and the sacred as one continuous movement, not opposites. This is a quieter book than some of his others, but it’s powerful and heady. He claimed it was his most important work. Perfect for anyone doing relational work or exploring the body as a site of spiritual inquiry.

The Middle Passage

By James Hollis

This is the book I recommend most to men in their 40s and 50s, and increasingly to women navigating the same threshold. Hollis identifies the midlife transition not as a crisis but as a summons: the first half of life is built around the ego’s agenda, and the middle passage is where that structure begins to crack. What’s underneath it is who you actually are. I’ve watched this book land like a key in a lock for so many people I work with. If you feel like the life you’ve built no longer fits, this is required reading.

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